Something I have learned in recovery is that misery is optional.
I’m actually going to say that one more time…
Misery is optional.
I used to walk through life with a victim mentality. I used to justify my pain and the length of time to which I lived in that pain by highlighting the idea that I didn’t deserve the pain in the first place. It’s a very quick and easy way to find yourself unhappy.
I also used to feel very convicted about my beliefs, regardless of them serving me well or not. “Yes, I am miserable, but God isn’t real for all these reasons… No, I am not willing to change my beliefs about God even though you have found happiness and peace through your relationship with God.”
Sounded pretty ridiculous as I typed that, but that is who I was. I have crossed paths with all different types of people in recovery, with all different beliefs and I have taken mental note of their beliefs. I have also taken note of some consistencies.
Not all people that “believe” in God are happy.
Not all people that don’t believe in God are miserable.
However, without exception, all people that wholeheartedly both believe in God and consistently take action towards doing His work and being their brother’s keeper are happy. Actually, both happy and free of the bondage of addiction and/or alcoholism.
In the 20 plus years I have been exposed to the recovery community, I have yet to find one single person that is honest, sows seeds of love, prays, helps others and doesn’t hurt people (knowingly) that isn’t both happy and sober.
What I have found is that the people that constantly relapse, can’t stay sober at all in the first place or are abstinent and miserable all have something in common. Either they don’t believe in God, don’t exhaust every effort towards trying to be who God wants them to be, are dishonest, harm others, put material gain in front of God reliance, take advantage of people or the like…
Yet, these seem to be the same people that swear up and down that they are right about God. They swear they are right while being suffocated by their own misery.
Their own optional misery.
I don’t know much, but what I do know is that even if I am wrong about God, I am happy. I know that my family can count on me and desires my presence. I know that I can provide for my family. I know that I am appreciated by my employer. I know that people believe I will be there for them if they need help. I know that taking a drink or a drug is not appealing to me. I know these things because I have consistently experienced them over the 11 and a half years that I’ve been sober.
I wonder…if you don’t believe in God…if you don’t take action of doing God’s will…if you aren’t trying to take care of your brothers and sisters…if you aren’t happy….if you aren’t free…if you are lonely, never truly fulfilled, trapped in a dark place, unable to stay sober, harming others (either directly or indirectly)…
…are you sure you’re correct in your beliefs?