Thanks, John

The idea of resurrection was always something I did not believe in.

It’s science fiction at best….an idea that foolish, weak-minded people latch onto in an effort to make a potentially made up story in the first place have a happy ending.

I used to walk the length of Lexington Market in Baltimore City to purchase Methadone and/or Suboxone when I didn’t want to shoot heroin anymore. The walk itself was something I encourage everyone to do that feels their life is difficult or they need a shot of gratitude for what they have.

When I used to walk it, I was in the same position as most of the people there struggling. My body was alive, meaning my heart was pumping blood and my lungs were breathing air, but my spirit was very much dead. Outside of my son, I had nothing to live for anyway. I only made that walk looking for methadone because I wanted to stay alive for Canaan. But I was dead. My eyes blatantly advertised it.

You can see life or lack of life in the eyes.

“The eyes are the window to your soul.” -William Shakespeare

My eyes were cloudy, my eyes were hazed over. No one could see in and I couldn’t properly see out. My soul was blocked off from the world and the world was blocked off from seeing my soul.

People move around like that all the time. Particularly in places like Lexington Market. One soulless, dead spirited human brushes up against other soulless, dead spirited humans all day long there and there’s no connection. I can say that as someone who was once one of them. I in no way am being demeaning when I say those words. Sometimes I look at things like this to remind myself of who I was and who I can be again. But it’s not just in shady, drug ridden places that you see this. It happens everywhere. You ever see someone who from the outside looks like they have it made? Good job, beautiful family, more money than anyone needs, expensive cars, host of friends, etc? You ever see them surrounded by people yet they seem completely alone? Just zoned out? Their eyes seem to be locked in to nothing at all. I would propose that they are lacking a spirited filled soul as well.

I can tell you that figuratively speaking I have personally experienced resurrection in the sense that I was a walking dead man and now I am more alive than I have ever felt.

But…

I can also say that I have been on the other side of my heart beating and my lungs breathing air. I have been laying on the side of the street, rain pouring down on me, not breathing for minutes. Heart not beating. No pulse. No breath…

…yet I am here now typing this testimony. Resurrection is real. It happens all the time. Not just from physical death to life, but from a spiritless, soulless existence to a life full of love.

For me, I believe that the love, belief and relationship I have with my God provides me with not only a beautiful life on this earth, but life eternal.

I just hope I stop aging when all that happens.